Raising Resilient Athletes: The Parent’s Role in the Mental Side of Sports
By: Joey Hewitt
As a mental performance coach, one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is: “It’s challenging to balance being their parent while also trying to guide them toward success in their sport.” As a former athlete, I get it. The last thing I wanted after a tough game was to hear everything I could’ve done better—especially during the car ride home after a loss.
Parents play a critical role in an athlete’s development, particularly when it comes to supporting their mental and emotional growth. However, it’s a unique role that can be tough to navigate. You’re not their coach, but you’re also more than just a cheerleader. This blog breaks down two of the most impactful ways you can support your child mentally as they grow through sports—helping them build resilience, confidence, and a healthy mindset along the way.
Providing Balanced Involvement and Experiences
It’s natural for parents to feel deeply invested in their child’s success—sometimes even more than their own. However, when that desire becomes over-involvement, it can unintentionally create added pressure and performance anxiety. Children may begin to associate their sport with expectations rather than enjoyment, damaging their long-term relationship with the game. Instead, parents should aim to support their athlete’s journey without trying to control it—allowing space for the child to grow, learn, and play for the love of the sport.
One of the most effective ways parents can remain supportive without becoming over-involved is by providing their child with opportunities to engage in activities outside of their sport. Whether it’s going to a movie, taking a walk, or spending time together away from competition, creating balance helps reinforce that their identity extends beyond athletic performance. In my own experience, this approach was invaluable. After a difficult game, my parents never pushed me back into training or reminded me to “get back in the gym.” Instead, they would suggest we go hit golf balls, —offering both perspective and a mental reset. These moments helped me understand that poor performances are a natural part of sports, not defining moments. For parents, intentionally creating space away from the sport is one of the most effective ways to maintain balanced involvement while supporting their child’s long-term mental well-being.
Question for you: “What are the outlets you can provide your child after a bad game?”
Engaging in Open Communication to Foster a Growth Mindset
One of the most effective ways to support your child in their sport is through open, thoughtful communication before and after games and practices. Young athletes often focus on things like stats, highlights, and recognition when talking with one another. Many are striving to score 20 points in a game, or make the top team. While these goals can be motivating, they also carry an underlying pressure. This focus can shift the emphasis from growth and improvement to the fear of failure, making each game feel less like an opportunity to develop and more like a performance under pressure.
As a parent, it's crucial to prioritize encouragement over critique. Rather than focusing on results, ask open-ended questions such as, “What did you enjoy most about today’s game?” or “What’s something you learned?” These questions help redirect the conversation towards your child’s experience, effort, and personal growth. Avoid analyzing their performance unless they specifically ask for feedback, and leave the technical details to the coach. By providing a safe space where your child feels valued regardless of the outcome, you help nurture their confidence, resilience, and a lasting love for their sport. This approach also fosters a “growth mindset”—the belief that challenges are opportunities for learning, and that mistakes are simply stepping stones on the path to improvement. Structuring your conversations to cultivate this mindset not only benefits your child as an athlete but also shapes them into a more adaptable and confident individual in all areas of life.
Question for you: “What is one question you can ask your child after each game that helps foster a growth mindset?”
Overall, supporting your child’s mental and emotional growth in sports requires a balance of encouragement, space, and thoughtful communication. By providing opportunities for relaxation and perspective outside of their sport, and focusing on open-ended, growth-oriented conversations, parents can help nurture resilience, confidence, and a lasting love for the game. This balanced approach not only strengthens your child’s mindset as an athlete but also equips them with essential life skills that will benefit them far beyond the field or court.
